Friday, July 22, 2011

The Cost of a Life

Through Zoya's adoption process, and now through Laina's adoption process, we've heard it a million times...."why does it cost so much to adopt?" or "wow that is a lot of money," or "I wish I had as much money as you're spending on the adoption" (yep someone actually said that).  So in case you're wondering, no we don't have $25,000 laying around (the estimated cost to adopt from Laina's country). And no we certainly did not have $25,000 just sitting in our bank account for Zoya's adoption either. Money is a relative matter. People see the price tag associated with adoption and they get scared and never give adoption another thought because of the costs involved.

But let me ask you this. How much would you pay to save your child's life if it were in danger? I bet every single one of you would sell everything you own. You would beg, steal, and plead if it came to that to save your child if his life were in danger (not that I recommend stealing...but I digress). What if your child were half way across the world alone and scared, spending day after day in a crib with little interaction with the outside world? $25,000 would be a small price to pay if thats all you had to do to save your child's life. Zoya is our child and I can't even begin to put a price on her life.  $25,000 in adoption fees was a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.  God willing, Laina is our child and if all we have to do is come up with $25,000 then I think we're pretty darn lucky.

Let me try to clarify what I'm saying.  Most families own two vehicles these days....there's $25,000 or more if bought new.  People take out loans for cars all the time without thinking twice. How much is your house worth? I'm sure a lot more than $25,000. How about that new roof or windows you needed...I mean you had to pay the bill because you needed them right? How about the credit card bills some rack up into the thousands without thinking twice because we need those things right? But then when we hear it's going to cost $25,000 to keep a child from living a lonely and painful life followed by an early death...we play the "cost" card and let that be our excuse.

Friends let me tell you, theres not price that can be put on a child's life. People who are raising money to adopt aren't "buying" a baby with that money. They are buying services and paperwork fees and translation services and flights and hotels in country so that they can bring that child home. What if your child is half way across the world right this minute starving for food and attention? What if your child is being treated no better than an animal? What if your child is not having his basic needs met? What if your child is sick with a fever and you're not there to rock her to sleep? You know, without a doubt you'd find a way to that $25,000 to get to your child. For some of you the hard truth is, your children ARE half way across the world and you're too focused on the "cost".....the small cost to save your child's life. So your child sits waiting to be transfered to an adult mental institution where he will likely die, while you carry on with your life because it will cost YOU too much. Is the life of a child not worth everything you've got?

Now please understand me when I say I don't think this message applies to everyone....BUT I needed someone to say this to me when Shawn and I ALMOST decided not to adopt Zoya because we were too scared of, what seemd to us at the time, the huge cost to us. So maybe one person reading this right now is in the same boat as we were at that point in time. To you, I say, what is the cost of life? I look at our beautiful girl and I think to myself, how could I have almost thought $25,000 was too much to invest in her life? And when I look at Laina chicky I think the same thing....money is not growing on trees, but we have full faith that God has led us down this path....she is our child....and there's no cost too high to brng her home.

As I get older I am learning to let go of the material things of this world that once meant so much to me. I still have a long way to go, but I just love how God is working in my heart and helping me to care less about "stuff" and more about love.  I once heard a friend say, "If my house burned down tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear, there's nothing as important as the lives of my family and if we all escaped with our lives I could walk away and not feel a bit sad about losing everything I owned." I remember thinking, wow, if my house burned down and I lost everything I owned I'd be miserable. I am getting to a place where I can almost say the same thing. I'm letting go of material things in life and embracing the important things....

So what is the cost of a life? Is it too great for you? We almost let it be too much for us....

11 comments:

  1. Every word you wrote I have thought in my head over and over again. Thank you for putting it out there so perfectly. What wouldn't be do for our children? Nothing. There is nothing I wouldn't do to get Paisley home. Thank you for writing your heart and sharing it with all of us.

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  2. Wow. Perfectly said and it was exactly what I needed to hear tonight.

    Brooke Annessa
    www.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com

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  3. Perfectly stated. How about those expensive dinners at fancy restaurants, designer clothing, over-priced morning coffees...these things add up and most people just don't realize it. When I was saving for Janie/Lexie's adoption, I realized one of my BIGGEST money-saver was to stop buying drinks from the vending machine and/or convience store. Seriously $1.00-1.50 for a 20oz drink when I could get a 2 liter and actually pour in a glass instead....imagine that. Oh and bottled water. Did I serioulsy buy bottled water when I have a water faucet right in the kitchen. It is amazing how we can save money if we really just take a look at simple things!

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  4. True motivation and the honest truth! I admire you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You are so right when you say their is no price to save a child, to save a life. Ahhhhh I just love good people like you! Wish I knew more like you. I am really wanting to adopt a special needs child from Russia and just like you mentioned getting the funds together is a bit scary! I have found a great agency that has really reduced their fees for special needs. I just need someone to push me I think LOL..... I have a plan, I have a region in Russia that is by far the least expensive to adopt from... Now I just need to make the commitment and go for it! Reading this post really makes me realize that this is possible :) Will you be taking Zoya back with you?

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  5. Oh.. and my LIttle daughter Berkeley is making a donation for little Laina :)

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  6. Exactly what I needed to hear! Perfect! You are amazing!

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  7. You're such a good writer and a major inspiration!

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  8. Thanks Berkeley :) and I was so excited to read your comment about looking into Russia....yay!!!! Praying :)

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  9. Thanks so much for your post! I am starting a journey to bring home a little one in Russia and have been worrying about the money. Thanks for putting into perspective and helping me see that cost is but a small barrier. Peace, Allison

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  10. Wonderful posts and comments. God's resources are limitless and He has a plan for each of you to complete His will for your lives.

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