If you're wondering what I feel like with only a little over a day to go as we're preparing to fly across the ocean to meet our third daughter....let me just tell you. One minute I look at her pictures and my stomach has butterflies, the next minute I look at my sleeping babes over the monitors and I want to cry, then after that I imagine meeting Curlie Girlie and kissing her cheeks for the first time and I get so super excited I can barely contain myself....then I look at the dog and almost cry because I will miss her too (crazy I know).
All night I've been taking deep breaths and saying short prayers that go something like this, "Dear Lord please replace this fear with pure JOY" and "I need you" and "Give me peace" and "Prepare our hearts." That's about all I can muster. My thoughts are unorganized and chaotic and I can barely remember what I'm doing from one minute to the next! When my girls are awake it's easier because I just have to focus on them and their needs! But tonight has been emotional. We're so so so excited and once we get over these initial jitters I know this is going to be an amazing journey.
As we packed our bags tonight, I said to Shawn, "So we're really doing this again?" And he just smiled :) Even the third time around, this is such a lesson in faith. It's stretching us again in ways we're not always comfortable with....but we can't grow if we never leave our comfort zone. I get a little uncomfortable, as well, when I start to get comfortable with life.....and that means God has really changed my heart over the past several years. As we prepare to leave the comforts of our home, as we prepare to leave half of our hearts here with our daughters at home....we KNOW this is the right thing to do....we KNOW life isn't about living comfortably and easily....but it's still so hard! We know that we will look back and thank God that we followed him!
I feel like a child the night before Christmas....actually, the anticipation is even crazier than that! I don't even know how I'll sleep tonight, and then again tomorrow night, knowing we are so so close to having our lives changed so brilliantly!
All night I've been taking deep breaths and saying short prayers that go something like this, "Dear Lord please replace this fear with pure JOY" and "I need you" and "Give me peace" and "Prepare our hearts." That's about all I can muster. My thoughts are unorganized and chaotic and I can barely remember what I'm doing from one minute to the next! When my girls are awake it's easier because I just have to focus on them and their needs! But tonight has been emotional. We're so so so excited and once we get over these initial jitters I know this is going to be an amazing journey.
As we packed our bags tonight, I said to Shawn, "So we're really doing this again?" And he just smiled :) Even the third time around, this is such a lesson in faith. It's stretching us again in ways we're not always comfortable with....but we can't grow if we never leave our comfort zone. I get a little uncomfortable, as well, when I start to get comfortable with life.....and that means God has really changed my heart over the past several years. As we prepare to leave the comforts of our home, as we prepare to leave half of our hearts here with our daughters at home....we KNOW this is the right thing to do....we KNOW life isn't about living comfortably and easily....but it's still so hard! We know that we will look back and thank God that we followed him!
I feel like a child the night before Christmas....actually, the anticipation is even crazier than that! I don't even know how I'll sleep tonight, and then again tomorrow night, knowing we are so so close to having our lives changed so brilliantly!
Beautifully written Sarah. We are very excited to be on this journey at the same time as you and your husband. See you soon!
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you and your family. I will be reading about your journey to your new beautiful daughter. Just like I have for your first 2 beauties!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
First of all...it's perfectly okay to miss the dog!!! After all, she was your first baby. Sometimes, I think my dogs sort of prepared me for kids (hee hee). They taught me that it wasn't all about me and that sometimes I had to do things when they wanted me to, not when I wanted to. Just like kids! It is okay to admit that you'll miss her!
ReplyDeleteYour girls will be fine, I am sure! I bet Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents will have a blast spoiling them rotten! That is the joy of being a Grandparent from my point of view. I get to do the things for my Grandkids that I didn't get to do for my own...because someone would have said I spoiled them or something. But, it is okay for Grandparents to do the same things for some reason :) God will keep a special eye out on Zoya and Mila while you are gone. He knows that you are going to rescue another sweet princess. He always has our back!
Have a blessed trip and I will be holding my breath waiting on pictures! God Bless You!
I KNOW the Lord will hold you all in the palm of His Hand--including your precious ones at home and your sweet "Curlie Girlie" who cannot even IMAGINE the love and joy that awaits her in the arms of her mama and daddy! Thinking of you--and praying for you as you journey in faith yet again!
ReplyDeleteI will pray for Peace and Joy. And that the Lord will prepare your hearts and Curlie Girlies. Have fun.
ReplyDeleteAnnette
Gods' speed Sarah and Shawn. My prayers are with you on your next journey. Have fun and post as many pictures of your girl as you can. if all else fails, please post food pics. Are you on instagram? if not, you should be.
ReplyDelete