Changed Hearts

I'm thinking our announcement to adopt might take some people by surprise. After all, I was surprised myself! I wouldn't know how long God has laid this adoption on my heart because I didn't really want to hear what he had to say to me about adopting again. Shawn and I were perfectly content with our one-child-life. Things had finally settled into a new normal and a nice comfortable routine with the addition of Zoya just over a year ago. We were starting to get into the swing of things and starting to focus somewhat selfishly on our wants. Adoption is messy and hard and costly and we wanted easy and comfortable. Several months ago I had a one-way conversation with God. It went like this....."God if you call us to adopt again I'm going to have to say 'no thanks' I trust you fully and everything, but we're just not ready for all of that again..." As I recall that conversation I picture God laughing because He knew all along that we'd be beginning this journey only months after our little "conversation."

About two months ago, Shawn, Zoya and I went for a bike ride. As I rode behind them I thanked God for blessing me so greatly with such a wonderful husband and amazing daughter...I had such a full heart as I thanked him.  I've not been sure many times about hearing God's voice, but on that day, I heard Him say "I can bless you again if you let me." Later that night I told Shawn about it because it kind of freaked me out!

And remember THIS POST about the two four leaf clovers? I still tried not to think much of the meaning of the second clover even after some commented about the second clover representing a sibling.

Suddenly I started hearing that little whisper and I continued to ignore it as best I could.

In what seemed to me, one fell swoop, we were staring at our second daughter on a computer screen! Our hearts LITERALLY changed before we could understand what was happening. Isn't God just good like that? We went from perfectly content, to wanting and needing this angel and ready to do anything to bring her home. Life is short. There is a lot I will never understand. But, I'm learning to stop asking so many questions and rely on that tiny mustard seed of faith when I hear that whisper leading toward a path that I'd not typically have ventured toward myself.

Meet Miss Laina Hope