Saturday, October 29, 2011

15th Day in Country...

Umm first of all....$500 in our FSP ?!?! Whoever you are THANK YOU, oh my I couldn't even believe my eyeballs! It seems that every time we start to worry about the financial end of things God comes through as if to remind us we are on the path He has planned and He will use the generosity of others to see this through. Just amazing!

We have been here just over two weeks and are starting to miss the comforts of home a little. Mostly missing Zoya....okay and a dryer, and maybe some pots and pans to cook with and some silverware, cups, you know all those things that make you feel like you're not camping LOL. Really though having friends here is enough at times to make me forget that we are 5,000 miles from home...such a blessing. So I really can't complain. We had uno night at our apartment last night and tonight we spent some time sharing stories at Anna and Jerad's apartment. Jerad said he would kill Anna if she blogged about how he accidentally signed "I love you" to our taxi driver, which was quite comical. He was trying to tell the guy that we were there to adopt babies, but he needs to brush up on his sign language skills. Hands crossed over chest with a smile looking at the taxi driver....we are wondering if that is why the taxi driver asked if he should stay and wait for us...really I think he was just hoping to wait for Jerad. So since Jerad never said anything about me bloging about his love for the taxi driver, I consider it fair game.

It was a much needed night to relax a little bit after an emotional visit with Mila in the morning. She is definitely sick and unfortunately its not just teething like some of you had mentioned and I had hoped. Her temperature was even higher today almost 103, so we called our translator and asked her to tell the doctor. The doctor came in and felt her head and said no! and then left. 30 minutes later she came back to check her out and she has a fever...I just couldn't believe it (sarcasm noted). They gave her some medicine for her fever which smelled like sugar water. The doctor said it is probably just a cold or the flu. Sorry but with a baby with lung and heart issues I'm not sure there is really such a thing as "just a cold." Prior to all this I had walked in to get her and she was laying in her crib alone quietly crying with tears running down her little cheekies. Oh you can't imagine how my heart hurt again. Then when I held her I could tell she just was not feeling well. She was doing a weird gulping or gasping thing every now and then. I looked at her and almost lost it. I tried to whisper a promise to her that she would never be alone and sick again once she was home, that she has so many people who love her already, that she is wanted and needed and full of worth.  I didn't make it through all the words I wanted to tell her because the burning lump in my throat wouldn't let me. I felt so helpless. I wanted so badly to make it all better. There are so many more emotions and parts to today's story that I don't have words for yet.   Today was a very hard day for me. I've said it a million times but to see the pain and suffering and lonliness orphans go through...well today I honestly felt like my heart couldn't take seeing any more.  Where are all the mommies and daddies for these babies? What else can I do? How can this crisis be fixed?

Just a couple pictures of this sweet little soul......


Thank you to all of you who are leaving friendly, supportive, and non-judgemental comments. It does our hearts good to hear every sweet word from all of you who are cheering us on! Thank you.

25 comments:

  1. Oh, Sarah...my heart is breaking for you and your little one...nothing so hard as seeing your child suffer...Prayers are constantly going out for you and your family...know that you are loved and supported by the larger family...sending a virtual hug, Liz

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  2. Oh sweet Mila, Mommy is so right. You are worth it! You are a child of God's who loves you more than anything. Very soon Mommy & Daddy will be back to take you to their very loving home where you will never know loneliness again. Your big sister will make sure of that. I am very excited to meet you one day, to hold you, and to love you.

    Continually saying prayers for all of you.

    Ok now to the less serious that is hysterical about Jerad. How much do you think that taxi driver is going to be waiting for another call from your area just to see if it is Jerad. LOL hehehehe

    Love you all...
    :)

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  3. Oh sweet baby girl:( This brings tears to my eyes. Praying for her body to be well and that she will soon be able to come home.

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  4. Prayers are coming from all over for your sweet family. I know that God put you in the right place at the right time for little Mila! I know God will get her to the US where she can have a doctor do great things for her. Stay strong, I can't imagine what it's like seeing your sweet baby crying alone when she is sick. Thinking of you guys always.
    Ashley from Nebraska

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  5. Oh Sarah, I see it in the pictures today, she does't look like she feels well. Poor Baby, I cannot begin to imagine how hard it is to see her like that and the helpless feeling you must have. Sweet Mila Girl! You have a wonderful heart Sarah, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and baby step your way to getting your girl home. The things you see and feel there will always be in your mind and heart. Right now your girl(s) need your strength. Keep your eyes on the prize! God Bless you and Shawn...and Zoya and Mila, too :)

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  6. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to leave her for even a minute when she's not feeling well. My children and I are praying so hard that she stays safe until you can rescue her!

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  7. That must be so hard for you to see Mila sick and not be able to do anything about it. I'm looking forward to the day that she's home with her family.

    Cindy

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  8. This post made my heart hurt and she does look so pale and frail. I have loved seeing her smiles. You will have her home soon and can get all her medical care going, so that she will thrive. I so know the angst of caring for a child who is fragile, but I don't know what you are experiencing with lack of care as we got our kiddo through fostering here in the states and had great medical care from the moment she arrived in our home. Hugs and prayers for your family as you get Mila home.

    Dannette (mom in Kansas who found your blog)

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  9. Oh gosh, poor little Mila. Seeing how sick she is, does that change your plan to go home? I watched the head control video and you can hear little ones in the background screaming. That, combined with your story about going in and getting Mila, just makes me so sad. I wish there was more I could do, but hubby's just not there yet. Bless you for the work that you do not only to bring home orphans yourself, but to advocate for them as well. Praying for little Mila, and for you and Shawn as well.

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  10. praying for your little love that she gets better quickly *hugs* to all of you

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  11. Praying for her. So sad to see her looking so sick.

    Katrina
    Carlene's soon to be momma :)
    www.operationorphannomore.blogspot.com

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  12. Oh poor little girl! How hard it must be for you seeing her sick, knowing that you cannot really do so much! But at least you are there to comfort her a little, making her feel loved! Hoping she will recover before you leave so you will not have to worry while being home.

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  13. praying for your sweet little girl and for peace for you.

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  14. Thankful for people like YOU who choose to cross oceans to give a child the blessing of a family.

    Brooke
    www.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com

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  15. :( I'm crying reading this post. Poor baby, I hope you are able to get her home very soon!

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  16. I simply cannot imagine what anyone would have to be judgmental about in your situation. I have no doubt that you have received one or more comments from strangers that caused you to have to add the "nonjudgmental" part to your statement, but I just don't understand it. You guys are doing a beautiful thing, and Mila is so precious. I hate that you have to leave her there for the 12 days.

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  17. Sarah...this just breaks my heart. I'll be praying that God completely heals her little body. And I understand the feeling of helplessness - Carter was sick for several days on our first trip, and we actually had to miss visits because he was so sick. It made me so mad! I kept saying to Jake that he needs our love now more than ever! Ugh!

    Praying - praying - praying!

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  18. My little guy has a cold (and has no physical issues besides that), so I cannot imagine hearing sweet Mila make those gulping and gasping noises! My eyes teared up, that poor sweet baby girl! I want her home now! :) I hope her 'cold' goes away and she feels all better! My family and I are sending lots of love and positive vibes your way! xx

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  19. $500... WOW! That is just amazing that your fund is growing and growing every day. Sorry it was not teething :( Hopefully she just has a little bug and will be feeling better as the days go on. As a mother you do not want to see your child the least bit uncomfortable and with Mila and her known and unknown health issues you must just be a mess with the what if's :( Stay strong and know that you are with her and she knows she has you! You have given her the hope and strength she needs to get back to the states and get the proper health care. Loved the update on Zoya at the pumpkin patch :) I know you had mentioned that this region is not in favor of waving the 10 day wait but do you have any way of requesting it on Wed when you have your date? Anyway to strongly suggest her health is not good and waiting almost 2 weeks would or could do her more harm than good? Either way Im am going to pray and put it out in the universe that they wave the 10 days.... Can't hurt right? 3 more days and your going to be a mom of 2 girls.... not that you are not already but officially :)

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  20. I found your blog through Reece's Rainbow and have been praying for you and sweet Mila since you arrived in country. My mommy heart breaks for your's and how hard it must be to leave her there each time. I am praying BIG for release! I know it is unlikely for the judge to waive the 10 wait, but we serve a BIG GOD- who has a great love for Mila and for your whole family. Nothing is to hard for him.

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  21. I hope she gets rid of that fever very soon. Being there for her and making sure she's taken care of is the best thing you can do.

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  22. Sarah and Family,

    Much love and strength to you. You are all in our prayers. May the time go quickly so you can get your girl home and to medical care asap.

    May God bless you and keep you.

    Jane
    a reader/mom in Los Angeles

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  23. Sarah & Shawn: our prayers and thoughts are with you and Mila and Zoya. Stay strong, you are doing a great job at being the very best parents in the world. God is smiling down on you and leading the way for a beautiful life for all of you. I am so sorry to hear that Mila is sick and am praying that she gets better in the next day or so. She is going to be so happy once she gets home to meet her "Big" sister Zoya. Give her a kiss for us. We are praying for all of you.

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  24. I have to tell you what a beautiful and precious baby girl Mila is. You can tell how she loves having a Mama and Papa. I can hardly wait to see pictures of her and Zoya together.

    A year ago I was in Mila's birth country waiting out the 10 days with my daughter to adopt Everlyn. Unless someone has done it, they have no idea how hard the waiting can be. It certainly was not like a vacation! When you go home your time will fly by so much faster. Before you can turn around it will be time to rescue your sweet girl and bring her home for the medical care she needs. You are a terrific Mom and know what is best for your family.

    Praying for you until you are all home as a family of 4!!

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  25. We love you all and are praying for your WHOLE family! Praying for strength for you all.

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