A Better Day Today

Praise God Mila seemed to be feeling so much better than yesterday! She still had her typical 100 degree fever but I could tell at least they are treating her fever and she wasn't as miserable or as pale as she was yesterday! The doctor came in during our visit and they took her away for a few minutes so at least we know she is being monitored even if we have no idea what exactly is going on. Today the same lady that has always let us feed her (well they all let us feed her) took her away to feed her and wouldn't let us do it today, that made me sad and confused. You will be able to see in her pictures she looks a little less pale and a little more wide-eyed today. She wasn't grimacing in pain today either. Yesterday even when she slept she had a grimace on her poor little face. Thank you for your prayers for her, please keep them coming!!

Many of you have asked about the ten day wait....it's pretty much assumed it's not going to happen but after we have our planned meeting with the doctor tomorrow, we will talk to our translator and see if we are even allowed to ask. In some regions you are not even allowed to petition for it to be removed and I'm thinking this is one of those regions. But God is big and He has already shown us miracles on this journey.
















I know the pictures are starting to look the same...we are all wearing the same clothes over and over LOL. Shawn and I had to pack light and well Mila, she doesn't have many wardrobe options LOL. At least this one today fits her and doesn't make her legs scrunch up to her chest. We have a meeting with the doctor tomorrow hoping to get some more medical information on our jelly bean, so pray that it goes smoothly and the medical terminology can be translated so we have a little bit more of an idea of her heart and lung condition. We have been so tired today. Our clocks here changed last night so we got an extra hour of sleep and for some reason we both feel jet-lagged all over again! I just woke up from taking a 2 hour nap and it's 10pm here, guess I won't be going to sleep any time soon. We will arrive home Friday night and get to set our clocks back again in the US...so then I'm sure our bodies will be thoroughly confused.

Some people have had concerns about me leaving for the ten day wait. Some have made comments insinuating that we made this decision as hastily as we would make a decision as to what to eat for dinner or something. Obviously it isn't an easy decision, but really there is nobody better to make this decision for OUR family than US. We've prayed about it and know God will continue to take care of Mila when we cannot be here. Until you've had two children 5,000 miles apart and your heart has been torn between providing for both and until you've been in a foreign country experiencing a rainbow of exhausting emotions for 3 weeks, you aren't really qualified to judge our decision. I'm not sure if the intentions were to make an already guilty-feeling mama feel even guiltier or what but this is a time where we need support, so if you have anything else to offer other than support, then this blog isn't a place for you. My mama always said if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all. This is my blog and I'm allowed to make the rules so take your negative comments and...ummmm...well just keep them to yourself ;) It stinks that I even have to say that, but I refuse to let a few people make me take the blog private where only 1/4 of you could continue following and witnessing this miracle story.

With that said, thank you to the majority of you for sending love and kindness...your support, prayers, and comments get us through each day and it is that support we will choose to focus on from this point forward!

Tonight I'm going to bed dreaming about the fact that, God-willing, I will be a
MAMA OF TWO BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS
in less than 3 days!!!!!!!

Comments

  1. Ok so whoever these people giving their thoughts on something I know you and Shawn agonize with...they can kiss your ---- in front of Macy's window! Wow can't believe people have the audacity!
    She does look much better today! Thank goodness! Those 12days will fly by and she'll be in your arms forever.
    Fla hugs sent your way
    Kim B

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  2. Mila looks so much better in today's pictures! Her eye contact in the pictures is simply amazing! Then to note how she snuggles up to you - pure sweetness! I used to teach birth to three special education, so considering where she has been left to lay and to cry for long periods - I am amazed at how she is doing, so glad that you found each other - our God is so good and soon Mila will get her health issues all fixed! Thank you for listening to God and going to get Mila and I bet Zoya can't wait to meet her little sister!

    Dannette

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  3. I agree Mila does look better from the pictures of yesterday.

    Definitely saying prayers for tomorrow's translation of medical information goes smoothly.

    Happy dreams!

    :)

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  4. Hang in there!! I'm so sorry people are leaving ignorant comments. I think some people have nothing better to do than to criticize others. So glad Mila is feeling better!! Peace and safe travels this week, Allison

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  5. Don't fret about what anyone says - follow YOUR heart. It is your heart that led you to this beautiful angel (and Zoya) in the first place. God Bless you all. Praying for everything to go exceptionally well in all of your meetings in the next few days. By the way,Mila does look like she is feeling much better today. Praise God.

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  6. She does look much better in these pics! I have to tell you I was laying awake last night (listening to the howling winds in New England) and just asking God over and over to protect your little J Bean! We've had no power and no internet all day but as soon as everything was restored I rushed here to see what's up! Praise God prayers for Mila are being answered! He will continue to carry you, and Mila, back and forth across the miles until you are ALL home, with precious Zoya as well!!!! (((BIG HUGS))) from RI!
    Anne B.

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  7. She is so sweet! I can't wait for her to get home with you so you can have both girls together and start getting sweet Mila the medical attention she needs.

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  8. I'm so sorry you guys are having to deal with negative/hurtful comments. And I hope the support from the rest of us outweighs the negatives! You guys are doing what you feel is best for YOUR family so how can anyone judge that? They would surely do the same!
    I'm sooo glad Mila is feeling somewhat better than she was--she's sooo sweet and the photos are precious--ty for sharing! Soon it will all be part of her history---and she will be home with her mama, daddy and big sister who love her! Continuing to pray, Lori

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  9. Glad to see she is looking better today. Praying that for your family as you get ready to go to court.

    Katrina
    Carlene's soon to be momma :)
    www.operationorphannomore.blogspot.com

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  10. Well, bless their pea-pickin' hearts, I'm sure those commenters are well meaning. ;-)

    I haven't commented before but I've been following your journey. I'm addicted to adoption blogs!

    So here is a verse, or verses rather, that have kindof been my theme for the last couple of weeks (thanks, Beth Moore). I'm sure you're familiar with them but I decided to memorize it and it gives my heart a thrill everytime I say it to myself.
    First of all, though, imagine yourself standing on an empty beach looking out toward the ocean...water as far as you can see stretching out past the horizon. And just imagine for a moment how deep that ocean is. Now look to your right and left, nothing but pure white beach. It looks like it goes on forever. And finally, look up at that crystal blue sky soaring overhead. Fathomless...
    Ok, ready?

    'I pray out of His glorious riches, that God will strengthen you, through His spirit, in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, will have the power together with all the saints to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ and to know that love that surpasses knowledge - so that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
    Now to Him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY more that we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to HIM be the GLORY in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen!' Romans something (I'm terrible memorizing the references)

    Sorry for all the caps. Like I said, these verses give me such a thrill everytime I say them. There really IS something about hiding God's word in your heart.

    Be assured that Mila will be cradled by many prayers as you return home.

    -Beth in Atlanta

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  11. TaraN4ms@comcast.netOctober 30, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    Those comments from people that are being negative and judgmental are not from people, they are from satan. I am telling you, satan is seeing how many eyes are being opened up to this, and how many people are praying SO HARD for that sweet little jelly bean! When things get hard and there are obstacles, just think, as you hurdle through them, that you are fighting down satan and making him wheep....as the Lord and the rest of us stand cheering you guys along! Still praying for your sweet girl and her health! God bless you all!!

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  12. Do all of you have matching eye colors? Today's pictures made me immediately think that Mila looks like her daddy! She is absolutely beautiful.

    I have never understood the idiots that leave nasty comments. It serves no purpose and it really makes me angry. Someone left a message a couple of weeks ago telling me how ugly my new baby (will hopefully be traveling in December to get him) is. Why would anyone do such a thing? Anyway, your daughters are perfect and I fully support you doing whatever you feel you need to do in the best interest of YOUR family! Thanks for continuing to keep the blog public....I am totally addicted to your beautiful girls~

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  13. You are making impossible decisions and I applaud you for it. I can't imagine the amount of strength and patience you two have.

    Just because it's the internet, doesn't mean it should be open season on rude unsolicited advice and comments.

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  14. Prayers for you and Shawn and especially little Mila! I can't even imagine being in your shoes, so of course, I can't even imagine how hard every single decision you make is. Glad that you know in your heart that your decisions are the right ones and just let all the negativity slide away. She (and Zoya) sure are two lucky little girls! Soon, she will be safe and sound with you! (we were in erie this weekend, thought of you!)

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  15. LOVE that adorable picture (the fifth one down) with her tongue partway out!!! you need to frame that one. thanks again for allowing us to witness this miracle! love and prayers from indiana!!!

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  16. Oh, please don't take your blog to a private status. I already miss another one that had to do that and I cannot access anymore. All because of people who don't "play nice". If they want to criticize, they should go somewhere else. If they want to praise God for 2 precious little girls getting a loving home and health care, welcome them with open arms. I don't comment often, but I do pray often for the RR families and children especially. Just a concerned Grandma.

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  17. Their is always a party pooper..... People think that you doing the opposite of what they would do somehow makes it WRONG.. NEWS FLASH their is not a wrong or right decision here! Ok... moving on to the happy positive comments of todays blog :) Mila looks so much better today! Im so happy that today was a good day. You guys just keep on doing what you are doing and before you know it Mila will be home with big sis Zoya.. Oh that is the post I can't wait to see. These 2 bonding and being sisters it going to be the best reward you will ever see! Good luck tomorrow :)

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  18. Wow... no one has the right to judge like that! I cannot imagine the difficulty of your situation. Your Mila looks just so lovely, I want to hold and kiss her cheeks too! She does look better, more alert. Amen! I love reading your updates, as my family thinks of your family everyday! xx

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  19. I am praying for Mila's health. You are doing a great job loving on her and teaching her that snuggling is wonderful and that she has people who think she is perfectly wonderful. For the next couple weeks you will have your heart pulled in two. God knows that and will hold you up. And try to ignore those who are not walking in your shoes and say ignorant things.

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  20. I have been away for a few days and feel like I have missed a ton!!! Praying for your sweet girl!!! SOOOO excited that you will be a mamma of 2 very soon!!!! Praying for all of your family actually <3

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  21. Mila does look so much better. It sounds like the caregivers there really want to do what is best for her - I'm sure if the language barrier was not an issue, their actions might not seem so cold towards you - don't let it grieve you. Will continue to pray for her health and your safety as you travel.

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  22. So now I feel really awful. I commented to the post (can't remember which) where you hadn't yet decided whether to stay or to leave, sharing that I somehow felt so strongly inside that you should stay. I also wrote that it wasn't my business; that I just wanted to share the feeling of urgency that I somehow had. Please do understand that I meant no harm at all and that I by no means meant to cause you to feel guilt!

    I'm happy and relieved to hear that Mila seems to be feeling better today. Her eyes really seem to be more wide open in your photos. Hoping she'll recover even more before court!

    Please don't make your blog private.

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  23. Milena my post was not in response to your comment. Most people with the judgemental opinions I'm talking about were "anonymous"...and they were more than just opinions...no worries.

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  24. Sarah! What a relief! Thank you so much for your kind response. I'm happy that you understood my well-meaning intentions - I was so worried that I had hurt you without ever meaning it.

    On to something completely different :-) How do you pronounce sweet Mila's name? Like Meela? Will you share her birthname after court?

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  25. Well, I can't believe anyone who is not in your position would even try to help you make decisions for your family. Unless, you have been where you are (and I now can say I have been) you DO NOT UNDERSTAND how hard and emotionally draining it is to be out of country where you know NO ONE, CANNOT UNDERSTAND ANYBODY, and are AWAY FROM YOUR KIDS FOREVER, and the list goes on. YES, YES, YES, it is worth every bit of suffering, but it is hard. God will carry Mila through, just like He has already.

    Enjoying the journey!

    Stephanie Lynch

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  26. I just can't wrap my brain around all the negative things that some people feel in their hearts. How in the world can you look at your little Mila's angelic face and not feel that God is a part of this? It boggles my mind that this could be anything but perfect. How I pray one day that I can be in your place - adoption is a beautiful thing. Can't wait until she is HOME!

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  27. Oh I am so sorry you have to read comments like that, you shouldn't have too. Yes this is your blog and we are the vistors. People need to learn to respect your choices. It hurt to read what they said and I am not even on the other end receiving it. So I can only imagine how you felt. Nobody needs to judge your decisions they are NOT in your position.
    Anyway.....we will continue to pray for your journey and for your beautiful jelly bean! She is just adorable, my favorite part is when she looks at you and she touches your hubby's face! It is so neat to see your so serious as she looks at you with love! Blessings on your journey...keep you head up looking to the heavens He has his hands on her!

    Stacey
    Colorado

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  28. First off, Congratulation! Both of your girls are absolutly beautiful. Second off...forget about those negative comments. I have 2 girls at home with me and I could not imagine being that far away from one. I think that would be a amazingly hard situation to be in and pooh on the people that try to make you feel bad! I have been praying for you 2 and the many more in your situation of adopting. I would love to adopt but our situation will not let us so I put all i can in supporting the people who do!

    Angela
    Texas

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  29. Precious little girl - so glad she is feeling a bit better!

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  30. I was sooooo happy to see this post!! I am so glad she was feeling some better today. I couldn't stop the tears thinking of that doll baby laying all alone in her crib feeling bad! I have been praying for your precious baby girl! I know it's a huge mountain but I am also praying the 10 day wait would be waived. We serve a God who is much bigger than that mountain! Love and Prayers!

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  31. I sincerely hope that my last (and first) comment stating I "hate that you have to leave her" did not make you feel bad, because I didn't mean it in a judgmental or negative way. I was only empathizing. Or sympathizing? Whichever word is grammatically correct there:) I wasn't being critical, just trying to offer support. If it was me who hurt you, I'm sorry. I am one of those mothers who is prone to vicious attacks of mother's guilt, so I would never want to be the cause of some for another mother. Prayers for you, your husband and your beautiful daughters.

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  32. So glad to read that Mila seems to be feeling better! - Yeah! Prayers that the meeting with the doctor goes well and it gives comfort to your hearts that she will remain as healthy as possible during your time apart from her and until you can get her home forever.
    Sorry to hear that some have left nagative comments. I can only imagine how hard it was to make this decision. But hastily? Abolutely not. You must have been thinking about that before you ever even set foot in country the second time. You said before you ever left how hard it was to be leaving Zoya. And, I must be just as hard to know you have to leave Mila behind for these few days. Oh, but the joy of the both of the reunions you have coming up in the next days - with your beautiful Zoya girl and then again when you are reunited and get to hold Mila forever! Please do not let judgmental attitudes take away any of the joy of this miracle!

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  33. So glad to see Mila feeling better. I didn't like seeing her so lethargic. :(

    I hope that going home for the waiting period renews you. I can't imagine being away from either of your girls, and I know this decision wasn't made lightly. I will be praying for Mila while you are away from her, and that your 10 day wait is waived.

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  34. She does look much better...praise God! I'll keep praying. We had to leave for 10 days too and the time went by fast because there is so much preparation you do to get ready and then when you go back you know it's your last time so it's a joyous last trip. Thanks for allowing us to follow your journey...I look forward to every update. I can't wait to see Mila home in the US!!!

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  35. I am so glad that little sweetie pie is back to sticking out that little tongue and looking at her Mama and Papa with those sweet little eyes in these pictures. I hope that your talk with the doctor is very informative. I know the medical care there is not top notch, but I am thankful that they seem to of done something to help that baby feel better. I know I am just a bystander reading a blog, but I am very wrapped up in your journey!I pray for you guys constantly throughout the day. Time seems to be both flying by and draging at once. Y'all have got to be physically and mentally exhausted. Hang tough, you will have your second daughter and be home for good in less time now than it has been since you left home to go meet Mila!!! Plus, you will have a Zoya fix to boost your reserves to see you through the return trip for that jelly bean.

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  36. You just ignore those people. It's impossible for anyone else to make good decisions for you except you. Both you're girls are beautiful. Praying for your family!! :)

    Daena
    Texas

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  37. I agree with everyone who's posted above about negativity and unasked-for criticism - it serves no good whatsoever! Just delete and ignore when you encounter it.

    Mila has the most beautiful blue eyes, and such thoughtful expressions - it's clear this little one knows something very special is in the works! What a blessing all-around her adoption will be - can't wait to see her flourish in your family, and I can't wait to see big sister Zoya's reaction to her baby sister! What fun those two are going to have together!

    Wishing you safe journeys and all good things,
    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to 2 from Mila's country

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  38. All will be well...try not to take it personally...as you said they have not walked in your shoes...and you and Shawn know that your path is the one you must follow...the parents of 2 beautiful daughters! That is what awaits you....got to see sweet Zoya before she went down for her nap today...and when I left at 3:20 she was still sleeping! So, no pictures to send you. Thinking of you and praying for you, Liz

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