Thursday Morning Update

Last night Mila would have slept through the night if "obviously never been a parent Nurse" hadn't woken her up 400 times to do stupid things like change her diaper when it was unnecessary. If all went well, the mean nurse should have met 4 flat tires on her car upon leaving the hospital (kidding).

Mila has been really lethargic and still not eating well. She has been eating about 6 ounces a day :( She starts drinking and then turns away and looks back at her bottle like, "I really want that but I'm just too exhausted to bother with it." They are still concerned with her breathing, its rapid and labored. The chest xray this morning showed fluid in her lungs and a pocket of fluid in the bottom of one of her lungs....sigh   :( They said the lasix should be taking care of that, but clearly it isn't. I asked about pneumonia and they said they don't think it's pneumonia. Her echo showed she still has a small pocket of fluid on the right side of her heart, although it is a tad smaller than it was yesterday. They tried one more time to pull any fluid out of the drain and got nothing, so they pulled the drain. That was enough pain for her and I to last a lifetime. I can't even begin to describe how terrible that was. But she seemed just a smidgen happier after it was out and she was snuggling in my arms. It'd be great if she'd start eating again and maybe that was the issue, but I doubt it. They tested her hemoglobin and talked about doing a blood transfusion because her levels were low upon arrival in the ER, but decided her levels were okay and they don't need to do the transfusion. They were thinking maybe that was why she's been so lethargic and not eating, but met a dead end there when the levels came back okay. They honestly told me they're not quite sure why her breathing isn't returning to normal and they don't think the fluid that is around her heart and in her lungs is enough to cause this much of an issue. It is so frustrating. So the doctors said they have some "investigating" to do. Please pray that they can figure out what's going on with our sweet little girl.

This morning was rough on me. I'm tired. I'm whiny. I need a shower. I have been wearing the same clothes for, oh my gosh, lets just say for too long...too embarrassed to type that. (Shawn's on his way back thank goodness...and Aunt Stacey came up all the way from VA to help out and just left back today). I'm getting to the end of my rope. I know there is nothing I can do and I'm trying to stay positive, but it is so damn hard to watch my girl go through so much pain and suffering...for what purpose? I'm just done. I just want answers. I just want my girl better and home where she belongs. Mila is to the point that she is terrified of most people coming near her or even touching her. I don't blame her. She is trying to be so brave and even tries to keep herself from crying but ends up just losing it. I'm glad she can at least find comfort in my arms when everyone leaves and it's just her and I. For that I'm thankful.

Please keep Mila in your thoughts and prayers.

Mila this morning

Mila after tube was pulled