Tuesday, December 11, 2012

You Were Born for Nothing Less....

I didn't post yesterday just because I needed a little break from the monotony of the days here lately! So instead Shawn and I took a language lesson and laughed at ourselves trying to pronounce some words correctly! 

Curlie Girlie is doing well, but I think she is starting to get a little bored with the limited supply of toys we brought. I don't blame her. There is only so much you can do in one room...can't wait to get her home! 

We've been getting to love on the other babies in her groupa each day. They are starting to look forward to us visiting and it's been such a blessing to be able to show them love, even if it's only for 10-15 minutes a day. They are all so eager for love and attention. I wish I could pick them all up and give them that love they so crave and deserve. There is one little girl with special needs in the groupa who has always looked so terribly sad. She rarely made eye contact and I wasn't sure how much she could really even see.  She mostly kept her head down and every part of her body shouted sadness, neglect, and she just seemed so withdrawn. She is clearly overlooked and never makes a fuss so she is easily forgotten about. Each day I've knelt down beside her and stroked her face, looked into her eyes and talked to her, smiled at her, and told her she is beautiful. Each day I got the same stone reaction. Each day I searched in her eyes knowing that there was a beautiful soul inside of there somewhere. 

Yesterday, for the first time, she reached for me when she saw me. I stroked her face, looked into her eyes, smiled at her and told her she was beautiful. She gave me a half smile. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I thought about her a lot last night. Today I couldn't wait to see her. I hoped that I could break through to her even more in our short moments in that room. So today, I knelt down, I stroked her face, looked into her eyes, smiled at her, and told her she was beautiful. She gave me a huge smile. I lightly tickled her and she let out the tiniest little happy noise I've ever heard. I held her face in my hands and kissed her slobbery cheeks, this time with tears blurring my vision. I tickled her again and she giggled and giggled and giggled.  To see the huge change in her in when I invested ONLY 3-5 minutes of love per day brings me to my knees. I'd like to think that just maybe my few minutes of love showed her that she is precious and beautiful and maybe gives her the strength to keep fighting. Even though my time with her is limited, she will have not passed through this world unnoticed and unloved.  Maybe it's hard to understand if you haven't been in this situation, but when I finally broke through to that child, I felt as if I loved her just as much as I love my girls. I believe she felt my love and I believe it was probably the first time in her tiny life that she ever truly felt love. When it comes time to walk out of that room one final time, a piece of my heart will surely be left there. I hope and pray that one day in heaven I see that little girl, and all the other children we're leaving behind. 

This quote was shared with me yesterday and it hit the perfect spot in my heart!

"James wrote for people serving actively, openly, and humbly right in the thick, pungent pollution. 
You don't live this kind of life accidentally. 
You make up your mind who you want to be and daily dies to the rest. 
You surrender yourself to living in the TENSION 
where you'll always be stretched and often be broken... 
You accept that far easier ways to live exist, but you were born for nothing less." 
--Beth Moore —


She tried to side step a couple of times while standing up against the couch...we are in so much trouble! 

She loves this vibrating teether....neither Zoya nor Mila loved it for very long, so it's finally being put to good use! 

So thankful she has such a great daddy! 

She doesn't sit still for very long unless she is sleeping! 






Boom!

She did sit very still watching some of the children practice their little show they're working on!!! (sorry about the huge very scary bunny rabbit) 

The music/dance teacher gave all the kids cookies after their little practice. She left and came back with two baby cookies for Curlie Girlie (I guess she was rewarding her for being a good audience member hehe). At first she would have nothing to do with holding them or taking a bite. I broke off tiny pieces and fed them to her like a baby birdy. See how her hands are back like that? This has been an issue with all of our girls, and it probably has to do with the fact that the nannies hold their hands down as they feed them so they don't make a mess. We will have to have some messy pudding therapy sessions to help her get over this! I was excited she was moving them around in her mouth and crunching them up to eat them! In her groupa she typically eats rice cereal with chunky things (not sure what besides the ham LOL) mixed in, and broken up biscuits with water poured over them to make them soggy. We'll definitely be working on eating small pieces of food once home, but I'm thankful she is a good eater so far! 







Going....

Going....

Gone! 




Reading with Mama

This is her stink-baby face, or monster face as some have said! Love it! 

Yesterday and today there was a new nanny in her groupa who had her all dressed and ready to go when we got there. Today she was dressed in this beautiful fall leaf dress with piggy tails and she matched from head to toe (she even matched the orange room!). The nanny took pride in presenting her to us and it warmed my heart to see that she saw the same beauty that we see in our baby girl! The great nannies are few and far between, but wow what a difference the good ones make! She wasn't very fond of her dress because it made crawling difficult....maybe she'll be a tom boy! 




Here she is watching the children practicing for their performance again....mesmerized by the music and dancing! 


She's got some pretty funky skin stuff going on which I'm sure is diet (carb overload) related. She has psoriasis on the back of her scalp/neck and her face is usually very dry and patchy. I think with this little virus she has going on along with the runny nose, her poor face has been raw. I've been putting some lotion on her at each visit and it seems to be helping! She loves playing with all the non-toys way better than the toys, like most kids of course! 


She was pretty relaxed at today's visits (in stark comparison to yesterday's where she was a wild woman as noted in the above pictures!) 

When she looked at me like this it was as if she was saying, "Mama, it just doesn't get much better than this...." And I want to tell her, "Oh yes it does, baby....just wait and see!" 



She LOVES her own reflection and she was actually looking at herself in my phone in this picture! 

Sweet girl....something about those beautiful eyes! The eyes of an angel ;)

This is her face known as "duck face"....she is so silly and so beautiful! 

We still have no news about the papers we need in order to have court Thursday. It is 11:45 on Tuesday night as I write this, the papers need to be put on a train by tomorrow evening in order to get here for our court Thursday. We've already purchased plane tickets home since the availability seems to be low around this time of year....so we're praying, for many reasons, that we can have court on Thursday. If it doesn't happen Thursday, the soonest it could be would be Monday, pending the judge's schedule of course. I don't even want to think about that! 

The girls at home are doing well, but I think they're starting to miss us. Skype is getting harder and harder for this mama and I really look forward to the day all of my girls are together! Thanks for your prayers!

8 comments:

  1. Sarah, I had a bad day today and this post about that little girl in Curlie Girlie's groupa is what I needed to read. I'm crying.... I hope I can adopt someday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So good to hear from you today,the photos are wonderful. I can certainly understand why you needed a break. Just was hoping there were no problems. Praying that Thursday goes as scheduled.
    Carol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh boy Momma this is going to be one busy little girl once she is let loose for freedom. :)

    Saying prayers for all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have been reading your journey for a while. I hope that paperwork gets there in time. I have waited for that paperwork to arrive before. Prayers!
    Pat
    St. Louis

    ReplyDelete
  5. Continued prayers for your papers to arrive in time. She truly is a beautiful, happy baby. So glad you have the opportunity to share your love. The greatest commandments is to love. :). How important it is for survival.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So happy for all of us, especially Curlie Girlie! Do you know the name of the little girl you were speaking of? Do you know if she registered on Reese's Rainbow?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love to read your experiences in this important journey!

    And talking about the hands, my son (biological, 3yr old, with DS) does the same! I have to constantly remind him "Hold your cup", "Take with both hands", "EEh, Your Majesty, serve yourself" :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've discovered your blog through Reece's Rainbow, and this post touched my heart. I'm a special ed. teacher, and can relate to the elation that is felt when you're able to break through to a child. I had an experience similar to yours (interestingly enough, the little girl was also adopted, but from China), and the joy I felt when the girl finally was able to allow me into her world was overwhelming. I'm only a first-year-teacher, but the moment this child reached out to me, asking to be picked up, was probably the crowning glory of all those years spent in school. I've formed a bond with the little one in my class, and now get hugs (or physical contact of some sort) on daily basis. You have such beautiful little girls, and I'm so glad to read that they were blessed with such a loving and caring family.

    ReplyDelete