Sofia is such a rock star...so wild and full of energy and wakes up most days ready to hit the ground running 110 miles per hour. As we get to know her better, I've been noticing more quiet times, more observation on her part, and more insecurities that I can't wait for the love of our family to heal for her. She is learning how to seek comfort, she is learning she is worthy, but she doesn't fully believe it yet. I've seen her look at me as I hold Mila and kiss on her and snuggle and comfort her....the look in her eyes seems to say, "That looks like so much fun but I'm not sure I'm worthy" and THAT breaks my heart. I don't know how her eyes alone convey that message to me, but they do. In those moments I pick her up and love on her just the same. I snuggle her and smile at her and try to convey to her that she is worthy of love. So much healing left to do. With Sofia, it's harder to remember that she needs to be treated like a newborn emotionally....she IS so resilient...everyone that meets her comments on her strength and the fact that they can't believe she has only been home a month and comments on how well she is doing. So it's hard to remember that, although she IS so very resilient, we're just starting to peel back the layers and finding her buried little soft spots. Now that she is starting to feel safer with us, we are starting to see the fragile little babe under the shield of her BIG personality.
She went to Children's Hospital yesterday to the Down Syndrome Clinic and to the International Adoption Clinic and had a TON (8 vials) of blood drawn...they ran the typical international adoption bloodwork as well as the typical Down Syndrome bloodwork. The doctors yesterday did hear a small murmur and we're following up with a ped cardiology appointment on Tuesday so prayers would be appreciated there. We're hoping and praying it is just a small issue that will not require any type of intervention. She's clearly thriving physically so I was surprised when they said they heard the murmur and would be really surprised if it was a serious issue, but none the less, my heart still sank and my mind has been wandering that way all day.
We are truly blessed having Sofia here with us! So thankful God created her with us in mind :)