In the Waiting....

Since things with Laina's adoption were moving so quickly up until we crashed into this waiting wall....I hadn't had a ton of time to really just sit and think and wonder and pray about Laina's adoption. These past few days I've had a lot of quiet waiting time...late at night after everyone else has gone to bed...I try to imagine what God's plan for Laina entails. I know God has big things planned for her, I feel it with every ounce of my being.  Since we committed to Laina, I've seen God only reveal little pieces of the plan at a time and there is so much yet to be revealed. That makes me nervous, but I'm learning to trust more. In this quiet waiting time I'm finding peace again and being reminded that we are mere passengers on this plane. All we have to do is answer the invitation to board the plane. We are not in control and if we try to take over the plane as passengers, disaster will surely ensue. God is our pilot and he can see things we can't. Who wouldn't want to put their trust in a God who knows all? But why is it so hard!? You'd think it'd be easier for us after walking this road once before and being so greatly rewarded with our daughter Zoya. But, it seems we forgot how to relinquish that control completely. I'll probably never get it perfect, but that's okay, I'll keep trying!

"So take me as You find me, all my fears & failures, fill my life again. I give my life to follow, everything I believe in, Now I surrender."
Mighty to Save by Hillsong

**And as I, for some strange reason, was reading back on Zoya's blog some of the posts I wrote while we were waiting for her...I came across this one...see! I forgot I ever felt this same exact way before!!
POST WRITTEN WHILE WAITING FOR ZOYA