Thursday, September 29, 2011

Your Questions Answered

First of all I love how so many of you ran to the "My Family Found Me" page to try and guess who we were adopting!! Love it! Many of you were right!  It has been a very emotional past couple of weeks to say the least! Ups and downs and all-arounds!

Does Harlene have special needs other than her heart defects?
Yes! Oops, I guess I forgot to mention that! She has Down Syndrome in addition to the heart defects.

I also am wondering about the money raised. What will happen to Lainas donations?
Since Laina is unavailable for adoption at this time, the funds that were raised for our adoption for her (seen in her FSP account) will be transferred to Harlene's account. We will be able to use those funds that have been donated and also raised through the beach giveaway, etc. for Harlene's adoption.

What about the donations for Lainas locker? Are you starting a new one?
Laina's Locker actually ended on September 23rd so we do not plan on starting a new one. If there is something that you'd like to order, just shoot me an email and we can figure out a payment option since the chipin is expired.

But if Laina's birthparents had met you, they would perhaps have been able to decide to give their child to you?? Maybe you should meet them when you are in EE...
Of course this comment was left by "anonymous" so I don't exactly know how to take it or what the intentions of the comment were. But really? I feel like saying "DIDN'T YOU READ ANYTHING I WROTE? THE ENTIRE POST THAT I SPENT 8 HOURS WRITING INSTEAD OF SLEEPING? THE POST WHERE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE MY HEART BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PAGE?!?"  It is not a possibility at this point in time. They are not ready. We are not trying to change their minds. They are not going to come to a complete resolution in two weeks time when they've just begun their struggle. The judge will not approve it anyways. There are many things that I can't write about on a public blog post, which is why I put in my last post that I had not disclosed everything we know. So although I disclosed quite a bit you're not seeing the whole picture.  International adoption is intricate, so I have to believe that you must have never been through an international adoption to think that it would be as simple as just meeting them and everything will be A-ok. What is done is done. Actions and words took place that cannot be taken back. Those actions and words changed our course of action and our ability to adopt Laina. I'd love nothing more than for Laina to be our happy ending to this fairy tale, but the truth is that will not happen. Maybe I'm reading too much into your comment but you have to understand how extremely sensitive our emotions are at this point in time and your words make me feel as if I did not do an adequate job explaining the situation.

Are you going to keep her name "Harlene?"
No! A lot of people don't realize that the children's names are changed on Reece's Rainbow website to protect them. When we adopted Zoya her name was listed as "Zoya" AND that was her birth name. Since that time, things have changed and the ladies of Reece's Rainbow choose names for the profiles they receive. Did you know when I googled "Harlene" the meaning came up as "pile of rocks"!!! What in the world???? We will know her birth name when we get her referral at our SDA appointment. We have a couple names we like but we'd definitely like to stay open to using part of her birth name since that will likely be all she will "own" from her past....just like we did with Zoya. So sorry to all of you waiting to hear her name....it likely won't be announced until we have had court!

Are you guaranteed to bring Harlene home?
Nope. In fact we could get there and they could tell us her file is not ready or there is an ever so small possibility that her birth family, or another family in her country would want to take her home or adopt her. This has happened a few times in Harlene's country. You just never know. It is all a leap of faith. Does it make us nervous? Yah a little, but either way we know God is steering this ship!

Thank you to all of you wonderful friends and readers for leaving your love and support through comments, prayers, and/or emails. It means the world to us!

Now let's go get baby girl!

7 comments:

  1. This is all so exciting! 3 weeks... WOW this must be some record time for getting this far in an international adoption. Maybe you should write a book on "How to adopt in record time" :) I can't wait to hear Harlene's new name and see the pictures of you meeting her for the first time. Zoya is going to ROCK as a big sister. They are going to have such an amazing bond.

    Re this comment: But if Laina's birthparents had met you, they would perhaps have been able to decide to give their child to you?? Maybe you should meet them when you are in EE.

    I am thinking it was just a way to say that once the parents met you they would know you were the right family? Like you said we as the readers only know a fraction of the entire story but it is like the fairy tale story that one would picture you meeting the family and everything falling into place...... It's not going to happen but geeze we all wish it was that simple.
    I really admire your drive to push forward and not give up hope. Amazing people doing amazing things is just great and so wonderful.... Zoya is going to ROCK as a big sister and you are going to ROCK as a new mom. CONGRATS on the newest addition :)

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  2. I am so incredibly proud of your heart to not separate a family.

    Brooke
    www.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com

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  3. I'm so sorry for the not nice words said to you. Unfortunately I read about that a lot with the blogs I follow where the bloggers are adopting. It breaks my heart. I pray someday my husband and I can adopt a little one and give them a forever family, but I know that judgemental people will make my heart so sad. Just keep trusting Christ. He will lead you where He wants you.

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  4. Well I can't wait to "meet" her to and find out her name! Pile of rocks is most definitely a No!!

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  5. I do believe that there are some sad realities that go with blogging and trying to guess what is meant in the written word would be one of them. Body language and follow up questions are a necessary part of conversations.
    I hope this is perfectly clear though...May God bless your family and your journey to your beautiful, loved daughter!!

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  6. "Harlene" is too cute! So glad you are traveling in hopes of bringing her into your family! Lifting you up in prayer!

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  7. You are amazing! I can NOT wait to find out her name!!!!

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