I am reading "Orphanology" by Tony Merida and Rick Morton. The book parallels human adoption with God's adoption of us and really reminds readers that adoption, although not mentioned by name many times in the bible, is the core and heart of the gospel. One quote that has stuck with me like glue is this:
"When it comes to caring for the people on God's heart, indifference is a sin."
(Tom Davis, Fields of the Fatherless)
It is so easy to be indifferent to so many needs in the world. But I don't want to be indifferent. I want my heart to break for what breaks His. I stood watching a little girl from Mila's groupa trying so hard to get our attention and love. I saw her desire to be wanted, for someone to just pay attention to her, to love her. Over and over again, she wheeled her walker to the door to peer at us through the glass and play peek-a-boo with Shawn. I could see longing in her eyes to be a part of our visit with Mila. My heart ached so badly and I felt so helpless. I stood there asking God, "Why....why do I have to see this? Why do my eyes have to see such things that break my heart?" And I was quickly reminded that seeing things like this will keep me from ever becoming indifferent. They will stretch my heart in ways I didn't know it could stretch. I may not be able to bring home that sweet girl, or the children who still haunt me from Zoya's groupa, but those children are chaning my heart, helping me to keep from getting stale and indifferent. They are planting seeds in my heart. They are teaching me that I have an obligation to act. I don't understand everything God is doing in my heart at the moment, but I just know seeds are being planted here as the seeds that were planted during Zoya's orphanage begin to sprout.
So take a minute to ask yourself if you've become stale and indifferent toward caring for the people on God's heart without evenrealizing it? It is oh so easy to do with all the sadness we see in the world today. Our hope is that through others watching our journey through adoption unfold God will be glorified. Simply choosing not to be indifferent isn't deserving of praise to us, it's what we all should be doing in whatever ways we are called.
And just because you listened to me pour my heart out, here are some pictures (and info) of our jelly bean, Mila! I started wondering today if Mila was really in a "groupa"....we got to go back and see her in her crib. She has nice toys and a mobile to look at. I noticed there were only 3 other babies back there, and the one girl in the walker that I talked about earlier (who appears to be recovering from surgery-she is about 18 months if I had to guess). I know there are other babies here because I've seen them so I was confused because they were not there. The room we go to is away from all the other visiting areas and we have to wash our hands and take our shoes off or wear booties over our shoes if we go back there. Then today they led us with Mila up to the big playroom, where we got to see a puppet show that the kids were watching! Then all of a suddent the assistant to the director came up and yelled at one of the doctors who told us to take Mila there. She thunked her hand on her head and yelled at him like "you idiot, she cannot be up here." So we followed them back down to the tiny little room we have been visiting in. So then I remembered seeing this picture on the door:
I wondered if we were in the infirmary. Sure enough when I put this into google translate it comes up as infirmary or quarantine. I asked our translator about it and she said that's just because she is little. Hmm. My mama instincts have been telling me our little jelly bean needs to go to the US soon!! I can't wait to get home and get her health all figured out and see if she does indeed need surgery and how complicated her heart condition and pulmonary hypertention are. If you could start praying now for her safe journey home we would be so grateful! I hope I'm overreacting and her condition is not as worrisome as my heart feels. Onto the cuteness.....
A SMILE TODAY!!!
Just kidding...but isn't that hillarious?????? Okay, onto the REAL smile!
I was tickling her with my scarf and I think it was part reflex that led into a real big smile. It is the only one we've seen so far but I just know we'll be seeing many many more of these beautiful smiles!! She hasn't quite figured out how she smiled the first time to do it again! Those are some seriously cute dimples!!!
I know the pictres are all starting to look the same because she has been wearing the same outfit for THREE days :( I would take clothes for her but most of what I brought is probably too big, even though I'll have to make do with it for our journey home. We did find a children's store today and I want to go back and buy a few things for our tiny little one. This little jelly bean's foot is the length of my thumb....that's TWO inches...teeny tiny. Her head looks huge for her little body but I meausured it and it is only 15 inches...thats about the size of a one month old maybe.
|She found her other hand today!|