The "soap-on-my-toothbrush" kind of tired

We've had a rough few nights since my last post when all was going well! Mila is waking up many times throughout the night just screaming like she is scared or having a nightmare. I'm sure she's reliving her hospital stay :( Prior to her surgery she was a pretty good sleeper and would sleep a stretch of 6-8 hours overnight. The screaming only happens at night and she is still waking up from her short cat naps (about six 20-30-minute naps a day) happy. She is sometimes still asleep while she is screaming but won't stop until she is snuggled, then it starts all over again after we put her down. The past couple of nights she's been wide awak from 1am until 3 or 4am. She is clearly very tired but just fighting sleep. She has also had horrible gas and reflux since her open heart surgery, which they say is normal for 4-6 weeks. I'm so tired that this morning I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I also found myself answering Mickey Mouse's questions on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse because he and I are best buds now. He is the closest to adult interaction I get in a normal day. How old is Mickey Mouse anyways? Yep. I have completely lost it.

For some good news though, Mila is up to 13 pounds 10 ounces!!! She has almost doubled her weight from just over 2 months ago! After surgery when we left the hospital she was 12 pounds 9 ounces, so she has gained almost a pound in 5 days.  She is eating about 6 ounces more per day plus eating 3 tablespoons of rice cereal on top of that. I'm wondering if that is playing into the horrible sleeping....a growth spurt maybe. Either way I just keep telling myself maybe I can sleep when I'm dead. Seriously though, I am a little worried that she isn't getting the sleep she needs so if you could say a little prayer that her quality and quantity of sleep would be better, I'd love ya for it! Her scar looks so fabulous. I will have to post a picture of it as it continues to heal. I just can't get over how good it looks...especially compared to Zoya's! The glue is starting to peel off and some new pink skin is showing through! She seems to be in a little less pain-related to her surgery anyways. She was really sensitive to having her arms moved at all above her head to dress her, but that seems to be passing as well.

Thankfully, Zoya is being so great and taking the role of big sister very seriously. She wants to help so badly all the time. She now runs to the changing table when she sees me there, grabs a diaper, opens it up and spreads it cute. I won't mention how she took all 300 wipes out of the wipe box though.
She loves Mila and is very concerned every time she cries. She even tells me what I should do, like "Mama ssshhh ssshhhhh" or "Mama baba."

We are still on semi-quarantine until we have our follow up appointment in a couple of weeks. 

I will post some pictures when I can see straight!


  1. LOL answering Mickey Mouse!

    No doubt that Zoya is being the best big sister EVER! She rocks that job totally....

    Praying for sleep and peaceful nights for everyone...

  2. My kiddies have had several surgeries and for several nights after wards when home had night terrors and were pretty clingy for along while..just love her and remember the saying ill get all the sleep ill need when iam dead lololo

  3. Have you considered putting her in bed with you? Might give her extra security and you more sleep. I've always let my babies sleep with me. Safe co-sleeping is the best. More info here:
    Glad she's healing quickly and gaining weight so well!

  4. Bless your heart Sarah. If it is any comfort, the soap on the toothbrush tired is a badge earned by all Mama's. Even though that stage seems like it takes forever to end, it will pass and you girls will all be sleeping again very soon I'm sure of it. In the meantime, cat nap when Mila does if Zoya is taken care of, don't sweat doing anything you don't have to- no need to clean the house, buy paper plates to ease up on the dish load and as long as everyone has clean underwear skip the laundry for a few days. The pizza delivery guy can be your friend too. I've done the same thing with talking to Mickey, I also went through a stint where I repeated questions like Dora... I promise it will pass and you will be sane again. Well, sorta anyway. ;)
    Prayers for rest being said!

  5. You made me laugh, but keep your head up Mama. It will get better.

  6. Hang in there Sarah! You will get through this! Sleep deprivation is simply awful, no matter what the cause! And Mickey is both old and young and that can really freak you out when he is your daytime buddy (I have had those days!!!)

    Prayers continue to fly your way.

    Jane in California

  7. Praying for sleep for EVERYONE in your house!! This too shall the Zoya and the Wipes story!! HAHA!!!! (((HUGS)))!!!

  8. You poor thing, running on "E" with Mila's night time needs! Could her reflux be waking her up. I know it wakes me up sometimes. Praying all settles down quickly so everyone is well rested.

  9. Just so you know, Mickey Mouses birthday is officially November 18, 1928. :-) He is 83. We love that Kevin's birthday is also November 18, he is a Disney boy! In just a little while, the sleeping issues will be just a bad memory! Take care.

    Sue Moczulski

  10. Hang in there Sarah!! Praying for some peaceful sleep for baby Mila!!

  11. I can identify with your stressed tiredness behavior. My son had an emergency ileostomy and I found myself going into the supermarket forgetting the trolley and serving an uncooked dessert. My other son developed reflux after his heart surgery I assumed his heart was so big before that it kept hs oesophagus shut reflux was a real battle but came through he weighs 13.4kg at age 6 but is no longer tube fed or in pain

  12. I think I'd put her in bed with me or both of us would nest on her bedroom floor. Everything is harder to manage when you don't have enough sleep! I'm saying prayers for good sleep for all of you.

  13. I hope little Miss Mila gets some rest & you too. Happy New Year to you & your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your updates with the world.

  14. Sarah,
    Happy New Year.!! I'm happy the jelly bean is doing well .
    I'd like to recommend you a book written by 2 Dutch authors, very popular among parents here in Europe, which is also published in English. Its title is "The Wonder Weeks" and it explains that all babies have 8 fussy phases during their first year which are growth spurts. If you recognise them, things get easier.
    Sorry I can't send it to you, but I don't live in the USA.
    Tons of kisses for Zoya and Mila and a big hug for you and Shawn.

  15. Never place your toothbrush near a bath-soap, especially if you have one of those scented ones. And don't forget to wash your toothbrush before and after you brush your teeth, Sarah. That goes for Zoya and Mila too.


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