If there is one thing I NEED in life, it is sleep! I'm a typical 8-9 hour a night sleeper and we got way spoiled with Zoya who sleeps 12 hours overnight and has pretty much since week 2 home! I could probably function on 5-6 hours, but certainly not on 3 hours added up by 20 minutes here and there. Let's just say you might have found me crying in my cold car in the garage at 2am one morning. Shawn has been so fabulous and has been strong when I couldn't be. He has taken a big hit on his sleep, all while working full time and I soooo appreciate it! We're working together trying to muck through this transitional time and trying to find some sort of a schedule-ish type day that works for Mila (and us).
When you consider all Mila has been through in the last 3 months, she is doing great. I mean the poor girl was taken out of the only home she's ever known, traveled half way across the world, saw lots of doctors, had airway surgery only 3 weeks after being home, and open heart surgery one week later! Whew! How did we make it through all that???? What a whirlwind! God surely carried us through and continues to do so. If someone would have told me this would be our path and we'd adopt a baby who would have so many medical needs, I would have said NOPE! We trusted God and followed him on the crooked, twisty-turvy path he laid ahead of us piece by piece. I never thought we'd be strong enough to make it down that path, but here we stand....rising with God by our side.
I can finally, just now, start to think about Mila's future a bit more. Seriously during that time we had to literally take life one moment at a time and simply could not see past the stepping stone we were currently walking on. Looking back I picture Shawn and I standing in the middle of an empty land with stepping stones only behind us, trying to see ahead but not being able to because of the heavy fog. Moment by moment, the Lord reached out and took our hands leading us to the next stone. The night I was alone in CICU with Mila I was soooo tired and stressed after a long rough day. She woke up for the 78th time and I just stood by her bed praying for God to lay His hand on her and comfort her because I was too weary to keep at it by myself. At that moment I so vividly felt God's hand on my shoulder comforting me. I prayed for Him to comfort her not me. But there He was beside me when I felt I couldn't carry on another minute alone. I surely felt His presence at that time more than any other time I can remember. Peace washed over me and I could feel so many prayers being said for Mila and for us. I treasure that memory because it comes to mind each time I am weary and feel like I can't make it to the next moment and it reminds me He is our strength and with Him we can get through anything even when the moment seems absolutely impossible. Mila-bean is teaching me so much already and helping me find a strength I never knew I could tap into.
|They let us put a portable monitor on Mila and take her around the hospital. It was so nice to do something as a family of 4, even if it was eating dinner in the cafeteria together! (Mobile was a Christmas present)|
|Safe at home, right where she belongs!|
|She looks like a red head in so many pictures but not so much in real life...can't wait to see what color her hair turns out to be!|
|Girl loves her beads just like her sister!|