Tuesday Morning Update

Mila had another echo at 7 this morning and the news is not what we were hoping. The effusion looks worse...she has more fluid around her heart now than she did last night despite the meds. She just got another dose and the doctors will be rounding soon. She is pretty uncomfortable. They may decide to take her into surgery and drain it today since the meds aren't working :( As much as we don't want this, at this point Mila is so uncomfortable that we just want them to fix it and make it all better. Everyone here seems pretty surprised Mila has this pericarditis. They are calling it Dressler's syndrome because the onset was not right after her surgery. When we left here she looked perfect. Maybe that is why when I called cardiology three times to tell them my concerns they dismissed them saying she looked too good when we left to have anything wrong cardiac wise :(

I tell ya....my friend Shelly says to her kid's doctors, "you might have M.D. after your name but I have M.O.M. after mine." I am a pretty patient and non confrontational person for the most part but the doctor last night (who might have even been younger than Doogie Howser) kept telling me how good Mila looked and how he was sure it wasn't cardiac related and he'd have to ask the supervising doctor if they even wanted to check hear heart out or not and it's probably just a virus. Thanks to the supervising doctor who clearly saw Mila was having breathing issues and listened to me that something was wrong.  She ordered the chest xray, EKG and echo. Doogie apologized by the way but I'm still annoyed by him. This is my baby's life. We didn't drive 2 hours (after already having been in the car for 3 hours that day) because we thought our baby just had a virus. UGH! Okay I think I'm done with that rant. I'm trying to stay positive but everyone has a breaking point I guess.

Trying to rest in God's promise. He is so good. Yesterday on my way home from the ped appointment when I knew we were headed back to the hospital I just lost it. Big tears. Feeling so overwhelmed and helpless. Feeling like I couldn't even put one foot in front of the other one second more. Exhausted. Frustrated. Stressed.  Wondering if all this would ever end. When I got home and walked in the door with Mila I saw a necklace laying on the ottoman. I picked it up because I hadn't seen it before. It was a oldish silver chain with a charm that said "hope." I asked my husband where it came from and he said he found it in the couch cushion. I just smiled. I needed that sign.

Please keep the prayers coming for Mila.