A jumbled post and stream of thoughts....

Would anyone really expect my mind to be anything other than jumbled with only TWELVE days until we board a flight and fly over the ocean once again? So there are a million things on my mind and I'm just going to write as the thoughts flow through my brain tonight.

Up until a few days ago I was feeling a lot of anxiety. I was trying to micromanage every little detail of this adoption-from travelling to leaving the girls when we go, worrying about finances, crunching numbers over and over, worrying if we will get Curlie Girlie's referral, and on and on. Monday was a whirlwind day with receiving our travel date and being invited to travel in two short weeks!

Monday night as the adrenaline started to wear off a bit, I sat and prayed and poured my heart out. I thanked the Lord for everything good in our lives, and then I just begged Him to come along side us, allow us to feel Him closer than we ever have before. I actually had to pray that God would give me a desire to want to spend more time with Him. Because clearly, lately, many things have been going on and I haven't made as much time as I should have to just pray. But I KNOW we can't do this, we don't WANT to do this, WITHOUT His guiding light. I spilled out my heart....my worries....asked Him to help me surrender all control over this situation. There are two times in my life that I felt the closest to the Lord. One of those times was when we first met Zoya, and the other was one night in the CICU after Mila's open heart surgery

I so badly want to feel that closeness again, and I find that it happens when we spend time in prayer and surrender all control and just hand everything over to the Lord.....when we place all of our cards on the table and just say, "Here I am so broken and desperate and I NEED you; I am nothing without you." So that is exactly what I did Monday night. I have felt the Lord walking along side us in tangible ways since then. I have felt a peace come over me. I have seen the Lord's promise coming true before our eyes in so many ways since that prayer Monday night.

I've been so excited to share "our" story with others lately. I want people to know our story because they can't possibly hear it without seeing and knowing God's love. Our adoption stories have NEVER been about us. Adopting children with special needs isn't some noble act of strength and courage that we should be applauded for. We are simply following (and not even really bravely to tell you the truth) what we believe God is calling us to do. We're learning to have faith-which means walking in the dark not knowing when the light will turn on. We're learning to give up control joyfully and know that we don't always know best in this life. We hope that when we share our story with other in the coming days that all the glory will be given to God. We hope that when others look at us, we can shine as an example of love and redemption. We hope that others will watch our journey unfold and praise God with us for all he has done in both our life and our soon-to-be-daughter's life.

To think in just over 2 weeks we will be holding our daughter, looking in her eyes and telling her she'll never be alone again....well that right there moves me to tears. We continue to pray that the Lord would prepare her heart for us and our hearts for her. Please join us with your prayers. We would love to know you are intentionally praying over our family as we embark on this journey!

Comments

  1. We have been, are, and will be praying for this journey to Curlie Girlie!!! And yes, God is right alongside you the whole time! He loves that you want him there!!! ((((BIG HUGS))))!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have been following your blog since the beginning. My heart was overjoyed when I seen you were adopting again! She is simply beautiful and she reminds me of someone I know. I will be praying for God's direction and peace for ALL of you during the upcoming weeks. Can't wait to see more pictures and find out her name and more about her. Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your prayers!!!! :) Can't wait to share more !

      Delete
  3. I am praying for you!!! Its crazy sometimes that we feel more close to God than other times. I sometimes used to think it was because I was not being obedient or something...then i was greatly encouraged by reading a biography of Mother Teresa and saw how much even she had the same struggles. It was just encouraging to see someone so faithful feel so distant but continue to serve in faith. But, anyway, praying you feel God near, safe travels, and continued provision through this adoption! God Bless-Amanda

    ReplyDelete
  4. Praying for peace and that still small voice as you make all the final preparations to bring home curlie girle! I can not wait to see those pics and for her to join her sisters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for those prayers for peace!!!

      Delete
  5. You have expressed my heart so well, it's a joy to read your words. We are praying with you and so excited for the day you hold her in your arms!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Praying for His peace to fill you to overflowing!! His timing is PERFECT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. We are praying for your family. Beautiful life you are living for the glory of God...thank you for allowing us to follow your unfolding story :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh YES I am praying!! Praying and so excited and grateful you are going. I have prayed the other two home and I wouldn't miss this one for the world!! Go Go Go!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Julia!! Can't wait for you to meet her!

      Delete
  9. Prayers from Texas for you, the girlie you're going to see and the little girlies you are leaving at home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Texas prayers are bigger too, right? ;)

      Delete
  10. First off thank you for sharing your story. Indeed know that there are many who are praying for you and your family as you obey the Lord's calling and doing his will. I have a child with special needs (Autism) so I understand many of the issues you face and will face, but you are doing a fantastic job. Look at your two girlies?! They have just blossomed and you new daughter will too. Look forward to reading about your new adventure. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for saying Hi Wendy! Can't wait to share our adventures as they unfold!

      Delete
  11. Praying for you all. Best Christmas gift ever; rescuing your daughter!! May God pour out His blesings on you as you travel and prepare each of you for the life journey ahead; short term and long term. So exciting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So much to be thankful for!! Thanks so much for the prayers!

      Delete
  12. I am praying for your family and for Curlie Girlie. I am so excited for your journey and I cannot wait until the week after Thanksgiving when you meet each other.

    Annette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Annette!!! So thankful this year!

      Delete
  13. I'm excited to follow your blog and your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Definetly praying for you guys over here. There was a little dance party going down when we saw your first trip was in just 2 WEEKS!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woohoo! We had a dance party too!!

      Delete
  15. I have been following your story since Mila’s adoption (both you girls are absolutely beautiful). I am so excited to continue on your next journey. I will be praying for you 4 as you venture one of the most selfless journey. Lots of Prayers!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm crying because I'm so happy for you. Our family will pray for you and count the days with you until your sweet baby girl is home with her forever family. Thank you for sharing your faith and sweet spirit with us. Take comfort in knowing that my 4 little ones will be praying specifically for you and your sweet Zofia:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So thankful for prayers from you and your 4 little ones!!! Thank you :)

      Delete
  17. My heartfelt prayers are with you, You have such a wonderful family and you can see the blessings God has entrusted in your family. I will be praying for your family.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am in awe of your faith as you head to meet your newest daughter. I marvel at how God guided you to Mila when things got changed around during your adoption process that time - how desperately Mila needed you and how she has blossumed. I have prayed for your family and just love to see the joy you exude as your family lives life. I can't wait to see what is next in your journey. I pray for God's guidance as you prepare for this trip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only God could write this story!!

      Delete
  19. Praying for your sweet family as you add another baby girl! It is impossible not to see how very, very good God is when I think of your family and how He is putting you all together. <3

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Sarah, As always, I admire your honesty--and that of your hubby--along with your obvious dedication to your children and ALL children. Especially "the least of these!" You are a STRONG, LOVING, FAITHFUL family and I am HONORED to "know" you all a bit thru your blog and of course, to pray for you!! We've never even met but I just love you guys and your testimony! I also wanted to tell you I've not forgotten my promised donation towards your newest adoption journey...it's just going to be a few weeks later than I'd planned. So sorry for the delay! Sending prayers to cover you on this journey--and your sweet babies at home too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lori, for your sweet words!!! :)

      Delete

Post a Comment