Sunday, December 9, 2012

Love and Mercy

It's really starting to feel like groundhog day around here! At least we have our daily visits to look forward to with our sweet girl! We're glad the weekend is coming to a close. Weekends are tough for orphans...for many reasons....less staff, less care....more alone time than usual. 

I've been hoping to be able to write down some profound thoughts during our time here, but I'm so emotionally worn out that when we get back it's just too much to reflect on our visits in any profound way. I've found myself feeling like I'm in the twilight zone a bit lately, with strange occurrences, language barriers, and just the very slow pace of life here. I find myself thinking, "Is this life real?" an awful lot - for both good and bad days. I look at this sweet girl and I think, "Is this for real? Am I really this lucky?" and then I take her back to her groupa and I think, "Is this for real? Am I really seeing what I'm seeing?" And I leave with such mixed emotions - such a feeling of soon-to-be-freedom for our special girl, and such a feeling of doom for all those we walk away from day after day, and for those we will soon walk away from one last time.....

I still dream about some of the children we met while adopting Zoya, and I know for a fact the faces of some of these children here will haunt my dreams for a long time to come. I already wake up in a panic with visions of many of these children flashing before my eyes. I cry out to the Lord, "Don't you see this? Please rescue them!" And all I hear is, "I know, I see, it hurts me too." I've been begging the Lord to show me His plans and how else we can help with this orphan crisis. I've felt we are here for a bigger reason, but so far, I've gotten silence. I know the Lord is there in this silence....I know I'm supposed to take it all in, as burdened as I feel, and just feel it all right now. With very few distractions here, it's easy to feel this need with all my heart and soul. It's a seed He is planting, but sometimes I'm just so impatient! How can I not feel impatient knowing that with each tick of the minute hand, these children are losing hope? We need a revival. Once again, Hillsong's "Hosanna" has been playing over and over in my head, and it gives me peace and hope,

"I see his love and mercy
washing over all our sins
I see a generation, 
rising up to take their place
With selfless faith.
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek,
We're on our knees...."


Happy, happy, happy! 


She loves these beads!! 

Pretty baby blue eyes! 

She still has a bit of a cough and runny nose. Many of the kids in her groupa seem to be sick. She had dried boogies from one ear to the other today when we came to get her this morning :( 






Action shots!



This girl has such a joyful spirit! 

Here comes the Daddy tickle monster! 

We'd probably be in big trouble for letting her lay on that floor, but she is a mover and shaker! 

She was still sleeping at 5pm when we got there (a little later than usual thanks to some strange happenings...I could write a book of short stories....maybe one day I will!)


Daddy wanted a picture of him and his girl while wearing his Steelers shirt! 


More snuggles!





Curlie Girlie and another special RR baby <3 

Beautiful simplicity here...I will miss the simpleness of life here when we're gone...


 Although, snow removal here is not so simple ;) This poor guy had to shovel the piles of snow from the side of the road and hoist them up into the truck. I imagine it takes a long time to clear the roads!

And for all you Big Foot fans, we're pretty sure he's close!

5 comments:

  1. Ilook forward to your posts everyday.She is such a cutie and a live wire for sure.Your house will never be the same- what a wonderful thing.Pink is her color for sure, as it makes her beautiful blue eyes look so full of life.I am praying that all goes as planned for you on Thursday, so that you can begin a new chapter in your special lives. Take care of yourselves and get rest for your special week ahead. Carol

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  2. Hi,I have been waiting to see your blog today but so far nothing. I sure hope everything is ok. Carol

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  3. Haven't checked your blog for a few weeks and boy what I surprise I got!!! She is beautiful! I looked through all of your posts from your time there with my kids and they agree that she is one of the most beautiful little girls we have ever seen! She is so happy.
    Blessings on the rest of your trip!!

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  4. Hi Sarah, I forgot to ask in my last comment...How are sweet Zoya and Mila holding up in your absence? Do you get to talk to them? I can't WAIT til you and Shawn have all 3 of your precious girls home together! Praying for you all!

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  5. WE are all concerned, since you did't write an update yesterday.Praying everything os ok. Carol

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